earliest lie I remember telling my daughter was that the dead bug she found in
the garden was actually sleeping!
We all do
it. Lie to our kids so that life becomes easier, not just for us but for
the kids too! But is it an acceptable form of parenting? We believe not. Parents
lie about death, bad news, etc to protect their children. But in reality,
children understand much more than we think! Whether we like it or not!
the alternative? Read on to find some alternatives to lies which we put
together for you.
If you don’t do this, I will…
Making up a
consequence and threatening your kids with it is negative reinforcement. For example, ”If
you don’t listen to Mamma, the monster will come
and take you away”
Alternative: Motivate instead of threaten. Kids
can eventually see through our attempts and will not trust our responses in
future. Instead use positive reinforcement. “If you listen to mommy, we can
play together in the sand pit” (or substitute with something your child likes
we lie to make things easier for us too. For example, when you don’t want to buy that
unnecessary toy in the supermarket a typical response is “I've forgotten my
wallet at home.”
Alternative: We agree that this is an easier response.
I mean who wants a wailing child in the middle of a supermarket! But instead of
avoiding creating a scene, tell your child the truth. “I think you have enough
toys so you don’t need anymore. But we can have an ice-cream together” It’s
better to tell the truth and allow your child to experience and live through
the feelings of controlling their impulse.
Different rules for children
math as a kid, but want your child to love math, so you tell him/her “I loved
math as a kid” in a bid to have him/her take to it.
Alternative: Don’t be tempted into this kind of
lying because honestly it won’t really affect the kids’ opinion of Math and you
will be wasting your precious words. Instead, don’t say anything. When they
realize on their own whether they want to love or hate or remain neutral
towards math, respect that feeling.
I are not fighting, we’re just talking..” Shielding children from uncomfortable
circumstances will never teach them to confront such situations later in life.
Alternative: Instead, state facts. “Daddy and I
are having a discussion and we don’t seem to agree.” Follow your child’s lead.
If telling only a bit of truth seems to satisfy him/her, leave it at that.
Else, keep giving facts till he/she appears satisfied.
finally, no matter what your kids ask you, try to answer their questions
truthfully. Keep answers simple, don’t overburden them with lots of
At MLZS, we believe that every child
is born with an inherent integrity that always makes him/her say the truth. That is
why children are so innocent and truthful most of the times. We strive to keep
the inherent integrity of every child intact through role modeling. Our
teachers and our entire staff lives through this value every single day.